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Reaction on the Past Month

I am back in Tampa now, schooling and working.. oh what a weight dubbed on one's shoulders. Writing after returning back from Virginia, the Hillsong conference, Incubus.. all the things I've been looking forward to in the past month are behind me now, and now I focus school and finishing.. Incubus was phenomenal, but I choose to elaborate on a more fulfilling event I took took part in. ENCOUNTER Miami 2009.. Hillsong United showed us an ENCOUNTER, just that.. A remarkable day of love and praise. The Hillsong Church team was completely on point with everything throughout the day. Phil Dooley, Brian Houston, and Sanga Samways all gave their word.. even Joel came up to the stage (doing something other than performing with the HU team.) I had no idea he had pastoral experience. He ended up being my favorite actually. The workshops were so nice to listen to, we were pretty close to Brooke Ligertwood too. The pinnacle of the day was the evening Worship session.. something I've never seen before had lifted those blinders off my eyes. Arms didn't come down all night, and my eyes were sown shut with imagination as the band played on.. for Him.

At the moment I'm feeling a strange void coming through me.. a sense of complete loneliness and despair, I'll be honest, I need Your help.. The luck I have with relationships is something that will forever go beyond me. No matter how much I pursue happiness, it's always running from me.. I need to forget about loving someone, at least for now. I can't help but think that there's a Karma laid out against me..The only ones I come across are all so complicated and are walking down a different separate path from mine. And now after all the things my eyes are finally seeing, I want someone like this. I want to leave this city.. and I will.

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February 2010