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Shall we catch up?..

Hello.. wow been about seven months since my last update.. I seem to jump on and off this rollercoaster of Livejournal, I have my periods of motivations towards writing/blogging.. Tonight I felt a nice warmth of love come over me and LJ popped up, so I jumped on for a ride tonight. I'll admit I've changed myself for the positive since my last entry. I have made a positive good-spirited friend, a woman who decided to share her church with me and loosen up some blinders off my eyelids. It turned out before meeting her I had been playing her guitar at some small social get-together one of our mutual friends had thrown in late January of this year. We didn't get to know each other much that night, but she seemed interested in me later on around March, and we got close... :) She just lost someone special a year back and we spoke and related about our similar situations. We continued talking more and more often, I feel a connection with her. One night after a pleasant rendezvous of innocent flirtations and such at Barnes and Noble, oh what a nice night, we walked back to our cars and I embraced and felt her all over, I had to kiss her. She didn't kiss back at first, but she grew interested within seconds and the night turned out into a fine one. I hated parting..

I'll throw it out that I'm still in the works towards being a BETTER (..not good..) christian, but I can spot progression coming along since last December. There are a couple fieIds that will relentlessly tempt me towards the dark side.. :( I don't consider myself a 'slut' by definition (hell, I haven't gotten laid since December.)  but I don't think I'm capable of holding myself until marriage by means of pushing away a moment of intimacy when I'm feeling the warm fire of a woman's touch.. and it's just the two of us. I will however TRY to set myself boundaries: I'll try to not hurry this phase along and by any means push her into something she isn't ready for. I will wait a couple of months.. I'm incapable of making love to someone I just met a couple of hours ago. I consider myself a sensitive lover, honestly. Not that I have them lining out the door, it's quite the opposite.. I gotta keep a fishhook tied to a black dude's penis just to lure them in. As for the drinkin'? eh, I've never really been a heavy drinker, I've been trying to hold myself well at the bars and such.. plus I'm thinking twice before spending accumulating 20 buck tabs on nightly basis..

August was set to be a spectacular month for me, having bought a ticket to my third show with Incubus and later acquiring one for a great worship band, Hillsong United.. I'll get back to a twist on that one in a sec. I finally have work, well if you can call it that. I'm working at the airport with Prospect, need say more? First day was wheelchairing and it was a sinch. I'll be doing baggage handler on Friday.. Found out today about my AT to Virginia mid August..:( I think the man up there is lookin' out for a believer, 'cuz I head out the day after Incubus and the ON Hillsong. I know this situation is definitely a perilous one, but I think it'll work out. I'm just throwing out a mass sigh of relief that I haven't wasted my money spent on good live entertainment. I plan on flying down to Miami and hitting up Hillsong right after, this is going to be such a crazy day/night, starting out mad stressful but ending unforgetably, I know it.

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